Saturday, December 26, 2009

A confession

I miss being pregnant. I miss the cute belly (even if it was covered in nasty stretch marks). I will admit to missing being fawned over, although its pretty awesome to have my little guy get all the attention - I'll settle for that.

But most of all I miss what everyone said I would miss - baby kicks and turns and jabs and punches. I miss nudging Hunter in the butt and seeing his foot poke me somewhere else. I miss hiccups on my hip bone and standing in the shower watching him go nuts when I turn the spray on. Or drinking a Sprite and feeling him go crazy 20 minutes later.

Don't get me wrong. NOTHING compares to having him in my arms. But somedays I miss when it was just the two of us and I didn't have to share him with everyone else.

Totally makes me think I want to do this again and soon. Mission - find a new house, get financially secure in said new house, then get knocked up again and hopefully next time I can stay home with both of my babies. Should I be so lucky to be able to conceive so fast and successfully in the future of course.

In other things, I hope all you readers (how few or many there are) had a fantastic Christmas with your families and friends. What a difference a year makes - last year at this time I was just beginning to mourn the loss of a pregnancy and future I wanted. I was mad and thought it could never get better. Joe and I were blessed to make and bake Hunter so soon after that loss. Now I have exactly what I wanted the most. I can only hope for those of you that are suffering this holiday season with unfulfilled dreams, that your 2010 Christmas will be a complete turn around.

Hunter got lots of presents, clothes and toys, as did Mama! And wonderful time spent with DH's family. Tomorrow my parents come up to celebrate.

Monday marks the countdown of 2 weeks until I return to work. This is an entirely separate post filled with anxiety that I will soon sit down and write. But for now I just want to pretend that life can always be this good.

I will say that the US sucks, and I wish we lived in Canada. Then I'd have 3 more months of good times with my baby. Damn you United States maternity leave. *Shakes angry fist and hopes Obama hears in the next 2 weeks and pushes a bill through Congress in record time so that I can continue being a temporary SAHM*

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